I wrote an aro poem thing based on my feels. Some rhyming not intended
Does anyone else get really annoyed by the “Women understand women, and hate them, so we shouldn’t try to understand them” I don’t know if I got that line completely right, but I run in to it more and more often recently.
You need to be dating to be happy
is the most annoying thing I run in to in my every day life since I was in high school. I would IM my friend who was home schooled during lab hours in class, and when I would laugh or smile at our jokes, people would assume I was dating someone. This still happens. I’m smiling on the streets, they assume I have a date that day. I’m snickering to myself in tutoring lab, I must be talking to my lover… No I was looking at cat pictures that time.
Usually I try to play it off as my laptop being my date, or that I must be married to tumblr and funny cat pictures. It still annoys me though. A good amount of my friends do this even if they know I’m aro~ace. The few that don’t understand otherwise, or are the people I was talking to when this happens. Cue jokes that both them and their girlfriend are both my dates.
I just really wonder where this sentiment comes from…
Can’t I be happy and be happy for myself without someone else involved? Hell yes.
A Thought on “Best Friends”
Being best friends with someone doesn’t mean that you Skype twice a week at a specific time every time. It doesn’t mean that you text each other all the time, or call every Sunday night before you go to sleep. You don’t have to litter their Timelines or their Ask Boxes with inside jokes or half-hearted “I love you”s in an attempt to keep the relationship as strong as it used to be.
Because if you really are best friends, you shouldn’t have to do any of that stuff to still be best friends. And you shouldn’t be upset if your counterpart in this relationship doesn’t do those things - people have lives beyond one friendship, and real best friends realize and respect that. Being best friends shouldn’t be work. It shouldn’t be hard. You shouldn’t feel threatened that the relationship is going to break just because your contact is somewhat lacking.
Being best friends with someone means that even when you’re apart for months, or sometimes even years, and you don’t keep up constant contact, and you both get other friends, and interests, and your personalities change, you still come back together at some point and you act like nothing has changed. Because nothing has. You’re still best friends. And if you feel like you need to prove that to each other, then you obviously never were.
So my friend is aro, and was recently looking for a community to talk to, so she went to her school’s LGBT resource center. They told her to go ask her questions to tumblr…
So one of my asshole friend keeps commenting on how if I continue to play Harvest Moon, then I’ll never find anyone in real life. Of course I won’t find anyone I’m not looking. My other friend and I were discussing the newest HM game and how you have to date the bachelor / bachelorette before marrying them. I was wondering that if you have to date them, was there break up scene? Because that would rip my heart out. He kept commenting on me to look up the break up scenes because I’ll have to deal with it anyway since if I do find anyone, they’d break up with me right away. My counter was that I won’t have to deal with it, as I’ll become a spinster with 6 cats and that maybe my dream cats are out there.
Am I a sensual hypocrite?
Rant about touching people and being touched (personal). Read if you’re cool, might follow up with a more general post:
I also only like touching if I am the initiator (with very few exceptions). It’s not hypocritical to like touch only when you are the initiator. In my case, I can only enjoy touch if I am feeling completely safe and have some degree of control over it. If someone else initiates touch without asking, I feel very threatened by it.
I feel the same way.
I’m the same way. I’ve had a few friends who were very sensual and loved touching me or trying to kiss me, and I would bat them away or back off… Which led them to thinking I didn’t like them. I’m probably a lot worse with touch now that people tried to get me used to them touching me. I’m fine with leaning on others and occasional holding hands, if I initiate it.
Sexuality labels are not about being a special snowflake. They’re not about “getting” to say “I’m x-sexual and y-romantic!”. They’re not about making people acknowledge and pat the ass of everyone who dares be anything other than heterosexual. They’re not about micromanaging and unnecessarily categorizing the world. They’re just about identity.
They’re about feeling a certain way about certain people that can be really scary and confusing, especially when one grows up surrounded by heteronormativity. They’re about finding someone, anyone, who is similar, and being able to share a bond over that. They’re about discovering that this weird, uncomfortable fit you feel in the world around you is an experience shared by other people, and that it’s normal and okay. They’re about being able to come to terms with the confusing feelings because they have something to attach them to.
They’re just about the people who choose to attach one to themselves.
why aren’t there friend pick up lines
pick up lines to make friends
like
“hey thats a cute dress you know where it would look better? on nobody else
because you’re a beautiful individual”
I think socialization would be easier in general if we reinvented romantic rituals to apply to buddyship. Pick-up lines, an actual way to break up with a friend, a holiday where we all buy cards and overpriced candy for the people we care about platonically…
Ooh, can we put that holiday somewhere soon after Valentines Day? Then the candy won’t be overpriced! It’ll be cheap and plentiful!
Yes, the world is in DEFINITE need of a way to break up with friends. And a Valentine’s Day equivalent.
We should all make this a Thing, you guys. What would be a good day for it?
